I can sugarcoat it, I can fluff it up, but I think everyone can relate to facing some sort of rejection in life and can agree that rejection sucks.

I recently had the opportunity to speak with the River Falls Middle School students on how to push through rejection to hit Mount Everest Goals. As I mentioned to them, in my journey to publication, I had emailed my query letter out to 50 big agents before waiting for the bidding wars to start.

And waited.

And waited.

And then, I got my first response, that went something like this: Dear Ms. Trautmiller, Thank you for the opportunity to consider your work. I am sorry to say that it is not for us…

That’s okay! I still had 49 more agents to hear from. But then, I got email #49,48,47, so on and so forth.

Being rejected by 50 agents is like being turned down to go to the prom by 50 people. It’s like aiming and missing 50 big bucks during hunting. I still get rejection letters and my book has been published for 2 YEARS!

So how do you push through rejection?

By keeping your “why” in front of you! WHY are you going after this very big goal? How is it important to you?

Your goal has to be BIGGER than your fear of rejection. Rejection is there to test your commitment level. CRITICS are there to test your commitment level.

Keep pictures of your goal in front of you: on your mirrors, as your screensaver, in your car. IMAGINE how amazing it will feel to hit your goal. IMAGINE the crowd cheering while you’re on the court. IMAGINE standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower with your family by your side, taking in the view of Paris after incrementally saving money and working extra hours to reach this goal. HOW GREAT WILL THAT BE? Will you care about the critics then, when you’re winning and you did it?

Imagine if I brought you to a field of rocks and told you that in this field of rocks, if you flipped them all over, two are painted green on the bottom side and are worth $1 million each. How quickly would you get through the field of rocks to find the two? Would you give up after you had a small pile of plain rocks or keep going? Some people might have a bigger pile of rocks before finding the green ones. Some might have only a few. But in the end, who cares if you found the green rocks?!

You must get through your rejections to find your winning rocks.

How do you talk to yourself?

The voice inside your head has to POSITIVE and LOUDER than your critics. I had to tell myself “I’m a published author because I love to write, I’m persistent and I won’t give up,” every day, several times before I thought of myself as an author. I identified as a mom, as a financial representative, but not as a legitimate author. I struggled with thoughts such as who am I to write a book? I didn’t even go to school for writing.

HERE’S A REMINDER: YOU CAN BE MORE THAN ONE THING!

You can be a football player and in the drama club. You can be in the Math Club and a basketball star. I told the students the story of Fifty Cent (the rapper for you older folks) and how he became a billionaire with one idea: to make vitamin water. You think people didn’t laugh at him? Did that stop him? How many of you drink vitamin water today? You can thank Fifty Cent.

YOU CAN BE DIFFERENT THINGS: rapper, inventor, entrepreneur.

I had to get my belief level up and see myself as more than the titles I had put on myself.

I read the founder of Starbucks was turned down by banks 242 times. As I told the students, if he had quit, imagine the horror of drinking gas station coffee or worse yet, having to make your own in your kitchen?!?

Hitting goals can be summed up in two words: PERSEVERANCE & PERSISTENCE. It’s making the decision to not quit, NO MATTER WHAT. To believe in yourself, when no one else does. And if you don’t believe in yourself, convince yourself until it becomes believable.

Because what’s the alternative?

Shrink your goals and dreams to match what other people think you should be doing?

Who wants to live life like that?